


Their First Christmas

by majesticduxk



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angels on earth, Costumes, Fluff, Humour, M/M, References to Sex, Schmoop, Threesome, naked parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 01:08:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3338411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticduxk/pseuds/majesticduxk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wants to have a normal, human Christmas. His mates think Heaven is probably the better option, but really? Once he turns the Puppy Dog Eyes on them, Christmas on Earth it was. Gabriel attempts… something. Lucifer doesn’t really get it. And Castiel does his best to make it the best Christmas ever. And what do you know, he does.</p><p> </p><p>  <img/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Their First Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> this is my piece for the RBB and I was lucky enough to get chef_geekier's cute art. The RBB is a lot of fun, because the artist draws something, and then the author writes something based on it. this was my art <3
> 
>  

Castiel checked his list – twice – before he presented the idea to his brothers. 

“You want to do what now?”

Lucifer didn’t even sound surprised. It wasn’t that he actually expected the words that fell from Castiel’s lips. No. But he was so used to being surprised that he was patently _unsurprised_ by surprise. 

Mind you, he should have seen this one coming. Castiel had a strange love of all things Earth related. Plus he’d been making eyes at hideous sweaters with snow and horned mammals woven into them. Lucifer might not understand it, but he indulged it. 

Sometimes.

On this occasion he didn’t need to put himself out. 

“But Cassie… Heaven!” Gabriel whined. “Michael promised he wouldn’t be boring! And there were going to be fireworks! And cloud sculptures! And food. Glorious food! _And_ he said he’d make Rafael and Zachariah sit at the other end of the table.”

Castiel didn’t believe him. Even Lucifer couldn’t support the argument. 

“How do you expect Michael to not be boring? It’s coded into his grace.”

While Lucifer and Gabriel discussed the finer details of Michael’s personality, Castiel mentally worked his way through his prepared list of _Why Christmas on Earth is a Good Idea This Year._

Castiel knew it was a good list. It was full of strong, sensible reasons designed to appeal to even the most capricious of angels.

What he actually said was, “Don’t you want to have some time, just the three of us?” 

So maybe Castiel sounded a little wistful. And maybe that reason hadn’t even been on the list – but judging by the way his brothers’ eyes softened, it was a good addition. He’d be sure to remember it for other causes.

It also had the benefit of being _true_. Things on Earth had been busy. Busier than usual, if that was possible. Castiel was helping the Winchesters (because even without an apocalypse on the horizon, they were walking trouble magnets), Gabriel was doing his bit to make life a living Hades for the evil doers (“it’s important not to mix belief systems, little bro!”), while Lucifer attempted to atone for his sins and bitch about humanity in equal measure. 

_Atoning_ , according to Michael, meant attending human places of worship and listening to them praise Father to high Heaven. However, Lucifer wasn’t doing much atoning. Not that that was his fault. The humans weren’t doing much praising.

And it was all _boring_ : The songs were boring. The sermons were boring. The costumes were boring. Even the facts were _wrong_. And the humans! He was (still) completely underwhelmed with humanity. In their churches, it was all _don’t do this_ , and _don’t do that_ and definitely don’t do _that_. 

Honestly? They were worse than a proselytising Michael.

And they _infuriated_ him. 

“Where is the all-encompassing love? Where is the acceptance? Where are the actual words of Father? Are you telling me I fell so that the mud monkeys could tell each other that love is not ok?” he’d demanded, one particularly trying day.

Gabriel and Castiel had wrapped him in their wings and snuggled, suggesting alternative religions to observe (“Jedi Knight should be good”), until he felt able to face the world again. Lucifer had eschewed his atonement since then, but still felt just as upset. Now those feelings were making Castiel’s job harder. Not that Lucifer had completely rejected his suggestion. And he clearly needed a break from his Earthly trials. On Earth.

Castiel continued the Christmas on Earth attack.

“But Christmas is a time of good cheer! Of merry making and family.”

“And gifts!” chimed in Gabriel. 

“And gifts. Maybe… maybe being on Earth will help you get into the Christmas spirit?” Castiel offered. “You know if we go to Heaven you’ll just argue with pretty much everyone.”

Lucifer snorted, ignoring Castiel’s valid observation. “I don’t even understand the concept. Celebrating the birth of that Jewish trouble maker.”

Castiel ignored the obvious diversion, and just methodically went through everything on his list. His brothers were not as methodical. They completely ignored his well-thought-out arguments and _whined_. 

“But Michael said we should be there. He was quite emphatic.”  
“But Heaven’s beautiful, Cassie!”  
“It’s my turn to prank Uriel–“  
“We don’t actually take it in turns to prank, Gabriel.”  
“Michael said he’d make ice sculptures that weren’t cold.”

Castiel just crossed his arms and looked at them. Whining was a particularly bad look on an archangel. 

As the complaints continued, Castiel brought out his last – and hopefully most successful - point: number 42.  
“I want a family Christmas. One where we exchange tokens of affection based on a judgement of our behaviour on a binary ‘good’ and ‘bad’ system. One where we partake in making the season one of joy and happiness. We drink eggnog in front of the fire. Decorate a tree. Bake cookies. And one,” and here Castiel looked down, before bringing out the big guns: puppy dog eyes, “where we join the carolling.”

And that was that.

When Castiel brought out the puppy dog eyes ( _damn Sam Winchester_ , was a common theme in the household), they could deny him nothing. 

Lucifer glanced at Gabriel, who, wet noodle he was, had already folded. 

“If it’s what you want, Cassie, of course we’ll do it. Our first real family Christmas.” Gabriel turned pleading eyes on Lucifer.. “It’ll be so much fun, right, Luci?”

Lucifer just ignored him. He wasn’t going to enthusiastically support this. He didn’t want to stay on Earth. It wasn’t that he wanted to spend time up in Heaven – his brothers and sisters were almost as boring as the humans - but it least it was warm. 

Not that he could tell Castiel the reason. It was embarrassing. The second most powerful angel in all of creation was afraid of the cold. No, not afraid. It just… brought up bad memories. He had spent millennia in a cold, lonely prison. So he wasn’t afraid of the cold. He just hated it. Hated it with a passion. 

And here they were, living in Cold Town (despite Castiel’s firm belief that it wasn’t _cold_ because angels didn’t feel the cold). (However, Cassie was wrong.) (Castiel wasn’t an archangel. Archangels were right about these things.) (Lucifer would never say that to his little brother though. Castiel would pout.)

But Lucifer could do this for his little brother. He’d just grin and bear it. Or at least stoically bear it. Well, bear it was a grim expression and an even grimmer attitude. Because he loved his brothers, and would do whatever would make his brothers happy. And even if it was cold, a happy Gabriel and Castiel equalled a happy Lucifer.

\--

As Castiel wanted them all to be involved, they’d decided to celebrate all Twelve Days of Christmas. Gabriel style. There were twelve days before the big day, Gabriel had explained. That meant they should get four each, to do whatever they wanted. They could even make it into a competition to see who had the best Christmas spirit. 

He was voted down. Gabriel was scarily competitive. 

To make it fair, their names were each placed four times into a goblet. As Lucifer had caught Gabriel trying to change all the names to his (although when questioned, he couldn’t explain _how_ he thought that would work), he had instantly placed angel sigils on it. 

Unfortunately that meant none of them could actually draw anything out of the goblet. 

There had been a rather embarrassing conversation with the neighbour, asking her to draw their pieces of paper.

Castiel wasn’t convinced that Gabriel didn’t somehow rig it – the days weren’t spread, but simply in order: Gabriel, Lucifer, Castiel. 

“What? I’m first? What a surprise! But whatever shall we do?”

Castiel didn’t trust the grin on his brother’s face. It spelt trouble. He should always remember to listen to his instincts. 

\--

Castiel wasn’t convinced that Halloween was celebrated at Christmas.But Gabriel seemed convinced. And Castiel _had_ enjoyed dressing as a bee, and seeing Gabriel as a Roman legionary was quite delicious (he hadn’t seen a toga that short in a few hundred years. He had also rather enjoyed the very Roman lack of underwear later that night), and Lucifer made an adorable kitten – he really hoped that the kitten ears would make a reappearance at some point. Castiel _really_ liked the ears. 

The response of people to their door knocking, however, was less than ideal.

They walked home with empty pumpkin baskets. 

“We were much more successful last time,” Castiel felt compelled to mention. He was cranky. Despite the crowded streets, they had been the only ones soliciting candy. And because of the crowded streets, they couldn’t just mojo away the costumes and… stuff. 

Lucifer stopped grooming himself long enough to stare at them. “We were definitely more successful previously. I’m not sure I understand why though. Our costumes are much cuter this time. Last I was an…”

“Elf,” supplied Gabriel with a grin. “I loved that outfit! I still haveit somewhere. You do have wonderful legs!”

Always a slave to his ego, Lucifer preened while Castiel pursued his original line of thought. “No, I am sure it was different. More people were dressed in non-traditional attire. And I don’t recall a single person threatening to call the police or throw eggs at us.”

There had been an unfortunate incident a few houses back. They’d made it home and were sitting on the sofa as Castiel picked eggshell out of his brothers’ hair. 

“If I recall the rules correctly, _we_ were supposed to play the trick, if not granted candy.” Castiel had been on Earth for some time now. He had seen the human children run around requesting treats in exchange for not causing property damage. Of course that was in a different month. And they were children…

“You should have let _me_ trick them.” Gabriel was still bitter about being forced to endure prunes and walnuts as a ‘treat’. 

“The trick is on them,” Castiel murmured. “Dean gave me a recipe for pie which incorporates these ingredients, and the toilet paper can be used to start a fire.” Castiel had at least three rolls tucked into his thorax.

Lucifer was nowhere near as forgiving. 

“I am the Morningstar! They should look upon me with fear in their eyes! 

Gabriel exchanged a look with Castiel. Castiel’s expression clearly indicated that Gabriel caused this, and Gabriel should fix it. Lucifer in a smiting mood was never much fun. 

“Well, I guess you _could_ smite them… But then we’d have to go to Heaven for Christmas. And although Uriel would congratulate you, Michael would lecture. You know he’s gone off smiting. And do you really want to be on _Uriel’s_ good side? Ah! And Michael won’t _ever_ let you forget about changing your mind. After all, he _did_ say that you wouldn’t like it down here and he’d set a place at the table just in case…”

It did the trick. Lucifer would almost rather go back to the cage than prove Michael right. Almost.

“They should be nice then,” he muttered. “All I did was ask for a treat.”

As Lucifer continued pouting, muttering his displeasure from the corner of the sofa, Castiel petted his head. He _really_ liked the ears. Gabriel ignored the complaining, sadly distributing the bounty: three tootsie pops. Fruit and nuts didn’t count. Ah well. 

Gabriel snapped up a bowl full of candy bars. Then snapped again, removing their remaining eggshells. That was better.

\--

The next day, Castiel didn’t have a good feeling. It wasn’t that the Halloween idea had been _bad_ (“it damn well was!” Lucifer called from wherever he was). After all, they had spent time as a family – which was ostensibly what Castiel wanted. And they had gotten Lucifer out into the community. And he didn’t smite anyone, which was also a plus. It just wasn’t really Christmas. And it had missed the _happy_ feel at the end of the night that all the books and shows had. 

So, while it hadn’t been bad, it hadn’t been a success either. And based on Gabriel’s expression, Castiel wasn’t sure he would like today’s idea either. 

“We should go searching for chocolate eggs!”

\--

The best thing Castiel could say about the day was it was over.

\--

“I think the problem has been the wrong holiday,” Gabriel informed them gleefully. 

Castiel and Lucifer exchanged looks, before Lucifer gave a long suffering sight. The things he did for his brothers. Castiel just frowned. Hadn’t he said that numerous times.

“We need to be Santa, rewarding the deserving!”

Lucifer perked up. It should be a very short day then. He could of only two people on earth (and they were both non-human and currently in his bed) who deserved anything. Maybe he could stay in bed all day and reward his brothers? 

A look at Castiel’s hopeful face nixed that plan. Giving a long suffering sigh, Lucifer had to wonder why Gabriel’s plans always involved dressing up. 

“So, Gabriel. You want us to go out in public dressed as Santa? That is the one with the red suit, correct?”

“Oh no. You two will be my lovely assistants!”

“Will we be arrested again?” Castiel asked suspiciously. 

“What could possibly go wrong?” Lucifer asked the world at large. 

\--

As it happened, a lot. 

“I never want to see anything like that again.” 

Gabriel was laughing gleefully. He’d been complete Trickster that day - Hell-bent (“Sorry, Luci! _Hades-bent!_ ”), on causing as much havoc as possible. 

“They don’t appear to need _any_ encouragement,” Lucifer noted. 

“That’s what makes it so much fun!”

While Gabriel relived the day’s glories, Lucifer seethed. He’d had security set on him twice, and _twice_ been stopped from smiting the impudent human. 

Castiel looked at the floor. Maybe this was a bad idea? It was supposed to be fun, and Lucifer wasn’t getting _any_ joy and Gabriel only looked happy when spreading discord. Maybe the problem was Castiel’s wish? Maybe it was too much to ask? Maybe…

“No.” Lucifer pulled him into a hug. “You are not responsible for Gabriel causing trouble.”

“You’re really not,” Gabriel piped up. “I am the Trickster. I live for that crazy shit. Anyway, fighting over free Christmas decorations - can’t get more Christmas Spirit than that!”

Castiel settled into his brother’s strong arms. It was true. Gabriel needed no encouragement. However… “I still don’t understand the conga line of Brazilian dancers.”

\--

While Gabriel had lost their trust, after a Family Discussion it was decided that Gabriel could still choose the activity for the next day. It just had to be within their home. 

“Not fair,” Gabriel pouted. 

Castiel responded evenly. “We’ve been toilet-papered, yelled at, glowered at, been accused of scandalous deeds, escorted from the premises –“

“With an armed guard! You can’t tell me that wasn’t cool!”

“-- almost arrested for stealing, and inciting a riot.”

“Don’t forget the write-up by the Fashion Police. Worse than bloody Michael.” Lucifer hadn’t appreciated the fashion violation. 

“I believe it may have been something of a joke. I don’t recall ever encountering these sort of police…”

As Lucifer and Castiel discussed the validity of Fashion Police (“I don’t believe they are correct. They informed me that plaid was unfashionable. Everyone I know wears plaid. It can’t be wrong”), Gabriel pondered what they could do. 

\--

This was one of the best things about being the Trickster, Gabriel decided as went to find Lucifer. Snapping up the most opulent Roman baths he could imagine (and he had a pretty good imagination), was a cinch. He may have been a little annoyed at Cassie’s requirement that angel juice wasn’t allowed. But that was fine – he had Norse magic on his side. 

“Gabriel.” Lucifer still sounded annoyed. It had been a gentle leap onto the sleeping angel. Why couldn’t he relax sometimes? It wasn’t like he had a _proper_ job. Gabriel had two and he wasn’t anywhere near as cranky. 

“Luci! Just in time,” with another snap Lucifer was dressed in a toga. A delightfully short toga. He lifted them hem, exposing more of his muscular thighs. 

“Why am I dressed like this?”

Before Gabriel could answer, Castiel arrived. And he was pleased. The delightfully short togas were back. He lifted the hem and was greeted with Lucifer’s pert buttocks. 

“I like the lack of undergarments,” he declared. 

Gabriel grinned. “Then you shall have none of your own!”

He snapped his fingers. Castiel turned to the mirror, admiring his toga. 

Reclining on a lounge, Gabriel picked up a grape, and popped it in his mouth. Chewing delicately, he swallowed, before informing his brothers, “Since I have to keep all Christmas activities to the home, today we are having a Roman orgy.”

The front of Lucifer's toga rose slightly at that. Castiel, however, was worried. “But the Romans didn’t celebrate Christmas. How can be we have a Roman orgy for Christmas?”

“Please, Castiel. Gabriel has followed the rules…”

“No. He hasn’t. This is not Christmas related, and not made with… with minimal assistance. Even if Gabriel had used Roman slaves, this could not have been built overnight!” 

Castiel was pouting now. Two… not even rules. _Guidelines_. Two guidelines was all he had given his brothers: Christmas related and minimal use of powers. This was neither. But… at least Gabriel was trying. 

“I did use Norse magic rather than angel mojo!”

Castiel stared at him for a long moment. “I suppose togas are based on angelic wear. And Christmas has lots of angels.”

Lucifer pulled him in with one wing. “Plus, our little slave boy broke the rules. What do you think we should do about that?”

Everyone’s togas lifted at that. 

\--

“I don’t care what today’s plan was, Castiel, we’re cancelling.”

Lucifer sounded firm. Castiel didn’t argue. He wasn’t even sure if he could lift a wing.

“That’s because I’m on top of it.”

The orgy had been exhausting, reflected Castiel, his body too sore to move. Wonderful… but exhausting. Even now they were haphazardly placed on the bed, a cumbersome pile of wings and elbows and a few appendages he didn’t remember anyone owning, exactly where they had passed out the night before. 

But enticing as it would be to lie in bed, today was Lucifer’s choice. And Castiel wanted him to get the full experience. He attempted to shuffle off the bed, ready to rouse them all for a new and exciting day. Except archangel wings were heavy. And _numerous_.

“Put your wings away!” Castiel demanded. 

“Too tired,” two of the most powerful angels in all of existence whined back. 

Castiel huffed. But there wasn’t much he could do. “I don’t understand why I still hurt,” he grumbled. “Can’t you fix this, Gabriel?”

Gabriel somehow managed to snuggle under Lucifers wing while not moving his off Castiel. “Why? When was the last time you were so thoroughly fucked? Face it, Cassie. That pain is the proof that you aren’t a stick in the mud!”

“…Even without Michael and Balthazar,” grumbled Lucifer.

“You always end up fighting with Michael. It would have been duelling swords instead of duelling cocks…”

“The cock fight was fun,” Castiel allowed. “Although I don’t understand why I was later thrown in the lake with a stone tied to my foot?”

“It’s Roman,” Lucifer waved that away, “It’s what happens when you lose your bread in the fondue.” His attention returned to Gabriel. “And we don’t _always_ fight…”

“You do! But I still don’t understand why we couldn’t invite Balthazar…”

“He doesn’t know how to keep a quiet tongue in his head! He would have told the entire garrison and you _know_ who would have come…”

“He hid his survival well enough.” Castiel’s words were quiet, but his brothers heard. 

There was silence. 

“Oh, _fine_. _Next_ time we invite Balthazar.”

“And Michael! I think you forget how he…”

Castiel snuggled under the weight of wings, listening to his brother’s argue. Ok, so it wasn’t a Christmas related activity. But it was nice. 

\--

The nice and not Christmas related continued. 

\--

They went to a day spa. 

Lucifer’s fingernails were being buffed, while Gabriel had a face mask applied. Castiel’s feet were being pampered.

“That shade of pink suits you, brother.”

Castiel stared at his feet. After applying a layer of colour to his nails, the human was rubbing what they claimed was Dead Sea Salt into his skin. But it wasn’t. The molecular balance was off. 

They probably have no idea they’ve been duped, he thought sadly. 

He cleared his throat gently, and when the Foot Maiden looked up, he told her seriously, “It’s not your fault.”

She looked uncertain and continued rubbing. Gabriel laughed, and Lucifer chose Angel Rain for his nails. 

\--

“Ah, this might be humanity's greatest gift to angels!” Lucifer admired his nails. 

“It was nice,” Castiel conceded. “But not very Christmassy.”

Lucifer pulled him in for a kiss. “Well, since Gabriel didn’t have to abide by the Christmas theme, I don’t either.”

Castiel decided he would argue that later. 

\--

Later never happened. Lucifer studiously avoided that conversation. Except to claim Gabriel’s orgy as precedence. It wasn’t that his choices weren’t fun… or that they weren’t doing things as a family… it was just… it wasn’t Christmas. 

As they sat in Paris watching fireworks over the Eiffel Tower, Castiel decided he would just have to show his brothers how wonderful Christmas could be. But for tonight… For tonight this was ok. 

\--

Castiel opted for simple. His brothers obviously hadn’t embraced the Christmas spirit. And really? He just wanted something to be perfect. 

There appeared to be many ways of celebrating the season. Different locations, different families, different faces of religion all had their different traditions. It was confusing, but he had prepared folios on the most enjoyable ones, ready to discuss them with Gabriel and Lucifer. He initially thought his brothers would be supportive. Angels were nothing if not traditional. Contrary to his expectations, they had groaned and complained and left Castiel to do it himself. 

“Only call us for the interesting bits,” Gabriel had told him before dragging Lucifer off to the bedroom. 

He sadly watched them go. That was what Castiel wanted. To spend “quality time” with the people he loved. He considered. He could go after them now… but that would be a fleeting pleasure compared to the memories they would make. 

With a decisive nod, Castiel set to organising the Second Day of Christmas (which was really the ninth day, but only if he counted Halloween, Easter, a Roman orgy, movies in bed, spa day, snorkelling, and fireworks in Paris. Which he didn’t). 

For the Second Day of Christmas, he would bake. Cookies seemed desirous and would set the Christmas mood. 

Cookies brought archangels to the Castiel’s kitchen. This was not a good thing.

Castiel’s Christmas mood rapidly deteriorated when interfering archangels invaded the kitchen. The fifth time Gabriel created perfect Christmas cookies out of thin air, Castiel banished him. His patience already worn thin, when Lucifer started complaining Castiel simply banished him too. He would have to find a little thank you gift for Dean: he never would have thought of creating a banishing sigil that worked only on archangels. 

He felt mildly guilty that he was so pleased they were gone. Surely that went against everything Christmas was about? It was about togetherness, and bonding, and…

Six hours later he was glad he kicked his brothers out. Home-baked cookies were important. And these were only slightly burnt (admittedly they were his fourth attempt. And he may have used his grace to cleanse the air so his brothers wouldn’t know.) 

(He sniffed. The burnt scent was surely gone?)

He removed the sigils, allowing his brothers entry once more. However they assiduously avoided the kitchen, instead demanding that cookies be brought to them. 

“But I wanted to sip hot cocoa, eating homemade cookies in the kitchen while we discussed Christmas things!” Castiel called plaintively. 

“We’d rather eat cookies in bed!” Gabriel called back cheerfully. 

“Gabriel would rather eat cookies in bed,” Lucifer corrected. “I want to fuck you silly.”

“Oh nice one, Luci! It is the silly season…” 

Gabriel was suddenly silent. Castiel collected the cookies and made haste to the bedroom to make silly. 

Still. It was fun, but it wasn’t going according to plan. 

\--

After the cooking catastrophe, Castiel banished the archangels as soon as he woke. This way he had the whole day to something. Today he would decorate the house, and then when his brothers returned home it would all be perfect.

Castiel looked at his research, but discarded it all. Maybe he was being too mechanical about it all. A little free will never went astray. And it wasn’t like his brothers cared one way or another… So he created _beauty_ : celebrating the elegance of winter, but combining it with a homely warmth. 

There were snowflakes, made big, and mojo’ed not to melt (it was only a small use of angel power. His brothers had used much more!). He stared at their delicate crystal structures, and wasted an hour trying to determine if each one really was different. While he wasn’t convinced at the end, Castiel had to move on, filling the room with candles to illuminate and bring sparkle to both the snow as well as some of the most beautiful wings in all of Creation. He’d even placed stockings over the fireplace (that Gabriel had happily snapped into existence). The stockings were decorated both with love, and their names. He wondered if his brothers would notice the small mistakes. Castiel had hand embroidered them. An irksome task, but he wanted _authenticity_.

And a tree. He quivered with excitement every time he saw it. Together they would decorate it. 

\--

Later. 

Apparently he was required in bed. 

_Again_.

\--

The third morning (or the eleventh morning depending on how you were counting) Castiel was unable to banish the archangels. 

He stared at his wrists. “While I do thank you, it is not yet time for the gift exchange.”

Tapping a wrist cuff, attractively covered in grace binding sigils, Gabriel snuggled in closer. “I wanted to sleep in this morning. Those stop you banishing us. Gonna stay in bed _aaaaaaaall_ day.”

Lucifer snuggled in to his other side. “I can’t believe you sent me out to be with _humans_. They all sing strange songs, and there were of those Santa folk around. I didn’t see any elves though. Just Peter Pans.”

Castiel nodded seriously. Elves needed short skirts. Gabriel had taught them that.

\--

Since they were in bed, Castiel decided to shuffle things around. 

“We need to get each other presents.”

Lucifer responded by lifting Gabriel’s wing. “Happy to unwrap you any day, Cassie.” He even added a wink.

He squinted at his brother. “Have… have you and Gabriel swapped vessels?”

Gabriel burst out laughing next to him – at least the vessel that looked like Gabriel. 

“What?” Lucifer sounded offended. “I have been practising my dirty talk. Was that not adequate?”

“It was very adequate,” Castiel reassured him. “Next time just inform me it is dirty talk so I am prepared to respond appropriately.”

Gabriel decided to stop his brothers right there. These conversations always devolved into Lucifer and Castiel talking _about_ dirty talk. That was often humorous, and rarely dirty. 

“We should do a secret Santa!” Gabriel informed them. “It’ll be fun!”

Castiel turned his squint on Gabriel, whose grin broadened alarmingly. The first time Gabriel had used the expression, something funny had happened on the way to the Forum. He’d seen it many times, most recently for the Easter egg hunt. Not to mention the Santa Claus thing. The orgy smile had been different. More lascivious. Castiel reflected on that smile for a moment before his feelings of suspicion returned. What else was Gabriel planning?

Besides, how secret could a secret Santa be with three of them? 

“There are only three of us who could be involved. We are the only ones on Earth, and after Michael received twelve pairs of socks last year, he said there will be no more present exchanges.” Castiel’s squint morphed into disapproval. “The socks were from you.”

Gabriel looked offended! “Please, Cassie. Like I would give such a boring present.”

“No,” insisted Castiel. “I know they were from you. No one else would make them read _Michael’s an Assbutt_ when he put them on.”

Attempting a straight face for all of seven seconds, Gabriel gave into his laughter. “Ha! I _knew_ he tried them on! But how do you know?”

It was Lucifer’s who responded. “That’s what you get for being the only angel in all of existence to call Michael an assbutt.”

The conversation turned to what Castiel _should_ have called Michael. Archangels are incredibly inventive. 

Castiel didn’t get out of bed that day either. 

\--

Castiel was fully dressed and sitting at the end of the bed waiting for his brothers to awake. 

There was a tight ball in his stomach. It was uncomfortable. Perhaps even painful, but he had assessed the health of his vessel, and there should not have been any ailments. It was Christmas related, the pain the size and shape of the Christmas decorations. However, despite their appealing looks Castiel knew they were not for eating and had packed them away until the ‘Decorate the Tree’ day. 

Until today. The same day a non-existent bauble lodged in his stomach. Vessels were amazing. But why was a non-existent bauble causing him such pain?

Oh. Oh!

He was _nervous_. 

It was a very human emotion. Lucifer would tell him it was something he acquired from _down there_. Who knew what Gabriel would say?

“Why am I nervous?” he asked the room aloud. 

It wasn’t like his brothers could be any more petulant about it. It wasn’t like anything had actually gone to plan. He just… he really wanted _one_ memory for them all to look back on and love. 

Caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice his brothers waking up. Gabriel stretched, with a voluptuous yawn. 

“Morning Cassie, Luci. And what a wonderful day it is too! What’s on the agenda, eh, Cassie?”

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows. Castiel smiled. His brothers’ good humour was hard to resist. “I thought… I thought we could decorate the tree and then do some Christmas related activities.”

“Christmas related sexual activities?”

Castiel considered. “Only if you’re good. And I will be checking my list.”

\--

To Castiel’s eternal surprise, the tree decorating went without a hitch. Except for when Gabriel enchanted all the baubles to speak. 

“Don’t put me there! My back! The twigs!”  
“Oh, please. _My_ shade of gold against blue? Completely unattractive.”  
“Please! I’m just a drummer boy! If you don’t put me near the shepherdess right now, I’ll never have a chance! I want more than my drum, you know what I’m saying!”

Gabriel laughed, and even Lucifer looked vaguely amused. 

Castiel, however, was not. 

“Gabriel, these baubles are obviously colour blind. The blue and gold go wonderfully together. I swear, I will walk out the house and…”

Gabriel’s uncontrollable laughter interrupted Castiel’s rant. Pursing his lips, Castiel glared at his brother. Before Castiel could launch into a second attack, Lucifer pulled him in for a hug. 

“Just when I think nothing can surprise me…”

“What?” Castiel snapped at his brother. 

“He’s had you run around dressed like a bee. Look for Easter eggs in a snow storm. Almost get arrested for giving away toys. All of his ideas were a disaster waiting to happen – “  
“Hey!”

“We’ve disrupted your baking, ignored your call to carol, and forgot to get you a present – “

“We didn’t forget! We just couldn’t find the perfect thing!”

“And the only thing that has truly annoyed you is the fashion sense of the Christmas baubles?”

Castiel’s pout intensified. “I chose those colours because I like them. I don’t see how they have better taste than me.”

\--

It was finally done. The tree decorated, the presents acquired and placed under (“For looks,” explained Gabriel. “That’s for you, Cassie. See! I care!”). A fire roared in the fireplace, and Castiel was snuggled up with his two favourite people in the world. 

“It didn’t really go as I imagined,” Castiel sighed. 

“Well it never was going to,” Lucifer helpfully pointed out. “Gabriel is difficult at the best of times.”

Gabriel retaliated by snapping up a plate of Christmas cookies and eggnog. Castiel brightened. 

“Gabriel! Are those my…”

Waving his words away, Gabriel grabbed a cookie and took a huge bite. With a whoop he grabbed Castiel in a bone-crushing hug, dropping crumbs all over him. “Cas! These are amazing! Only a little bit burnt.”

Eyes narrowed, Castiel grabbed a cookie and took a bite. He chewed slowly, allowing the flavour molecules to develop. Sighing he put it down. “You are correct, Gabriel.”

“Don’t worry, Cassie. Have some of this.”

Gabriel handed him a festive cup. It was covered with red snowflakes and steaming a little. Castiel was suspicious.

“What is this?”

 

“The only drink guaranteed to raise our Christmas spirits.”

Castiel’s face split in a grin. “Eggnog!”

They held their cups, warmth seeping into their hands. 

“So, we drink this beverage with the revolting name?” Lucifer eyed it distastefully. 

“We drink,” Castiel confirmed. “To the real Christmas Spirit.”

A few minutes later, Lucifer broke the silence. “Well. That was as revolting as its name suggested.” 

Castiel stared at his cup. The archangels looked at each other. Gabriel was surprisingly reticent.

“Cassie. Are you… are you disappointed with Christmas?”

Castiel looked up at his brothers, expressions serious in the glow of the small tree lights. He smiled. 

“No. I’m not disappointed. I’m here with two of my favourite people in the whole world. What’s not to like? Although… The Christmas drink was rather disappointing.”

He should have expected the flurry of wings, as he was drawn into a hug. He didn’t expect the string quartet playing Christmas carols, but it was nice background music to the whiskey Gabriel also supplied. Sitting there, Castiel felt content. His brothers echoed the feeling. 

“You were right, Cassie. This is the best Christmas ever.”

Gabriel’s voice was muffled from where he had snuggled under Lucifer’s wing. Not that Castiel could say anything. He was snuggled just as firmly beneath Lucifer’s other wing. 

“Isn’t it our only Christmas ever?” 

Gabriel poked his brother with a pointy elbow. “Are you saying you didn’t enjoy it?”

As Lucifer looked at his brothers, a smile crossed his face. “No, Gabriel. That isn’t what I’m saying at all. And I’ll admit this once a year, but maybe these humans were onto something.”

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [kiltsocks](www.kiltsocks.livejournal.com), [yonku](www.yonku.livejournal.com) and [relucant](www.relucant.tumblr.com) for the beta-ing and cheerleading!
> 
> a/n: when I first saw [chef_geekier](www.chef_geekier.livejournal.com)’s art I knew I wanted it. It was cute, and had angels. I don’t write a lot of Lucifer, but I can see him being an awesome big brother, and I wanted to write that. And she captured Gabriel’s sass. The word needs more Gabriel sass.


End file.
